The end of our first year has given me time and reason to reflect and to look forward. I've reflected deeply on where we are, where we were, and where we are going. I've pondered a lot about the losses I've had this year: an aunt, a friend's husband my age, a young and vibrant niece, my grandfather. I've struggled with being so far from family and friends as they've had illnesses, endured hospital stays, birthed beautiful babies, celebrated jobs, birthdays, and holidays, and married soul mates. And I've questioned a lot of what we are doing. We are truly halfway around the globe which is quite a distance to travel or try to coordinate timing of Skype calls. So is it worth it? Am I happy to return to Delhi after our first year? Are we putting ourselves too far from friends and family when we long to be near them during these celebrations and losses? Is there a way to balance it all?
A few days after returning to Delhi from Germany this past Christmas, we were walking back to our apartment from dinner a neighborhood over and Evan confessed that he had somewhat lamented leaving Germany for Delhi. After all, we were flying from a modern, clean, green countryside to a city with many of the opposites. Quickly, he added that those feelings had been replaced by a feeling of "home" and of finally knowing how the city works and how our family fits into the world of Delhi. I instantly confessed that I had felt the same way on the flight back to Delhi and that I also felt incredibly at peace with being in Delhi once we had landed. Arguing taxi fares and knowing where to tell the driver to turn to get you home were things I avoided in the beginning and are now par for the course; in a way, doing this makes me feel like I am a part of the breath that Delhi heaves.
So Happy First Year and thanks for the support. We've made it through our first year and Ev and I feel like we are in the right spot for our family. We are surrounded by an incredible group of people here and know that our friends and family are waiting with open arms for us when we come back for holiday. And these are the things that have made me grateful during the cold and smoggy January days and during hot dry May days. These are the things that make me love the life we are living and the adventures we are having. I know there will be losses and moments that I wish I were home but I also feel at ease knowing that we are making sure we are present for our family and friends in other ways.